The dirty truth about cleaning

In cleaning my house today and trying to organize and purge and attempt some kind of spring-cleaning business around my home, I learned a few things about myself:

1) I am a gift bag hoarder.2) I have an entire box of old party supplies. You know, blue streamers, beach balls, American flags, vinyl tablecloths, half burned candles. I could throw the random party of the century with those items.

3) Even if it's still semi-full, I will throw away a box of cereal if it sucks. Without even feeling guilty about it. I am a chronic pantry-purger.

4) Dishes are always the last thing I do. Because I hate them. (Though I think I already knew this).

5) It's easier to close the shower curtain than to scrub the tub. If my friends look in there, they are held responsible for the horror they have to witness, not me.

6) Sometimes I wipe away dust with my hand rather than actually dust.

7) I got overly excited when I found a stash of plastic hangers in another closet today - the kind that department stores have that you get when you go clothes shopping - those are my favorites! And I immediately re-hung several tops and tossed the crappy plastic hangers to the side.8) I prefer to have my DVD's organized by genre. Todd's boring western and war movies, cool action movies, lame action movies, sappy chick-flicks, funny chick-flicks, family friendly films, and John Wayne movies (also Todd's). Of course all of the James Bonds and the Star Wars and the Indiana Jones all have a sacred spot of honor. (Not pictured here.)9) Pretty sure we are keeping the plastic tote bin in business by storing all of Tommy's old clothes and toys. Would SO love to get rid of everything, but there's that whole - "Are we having any more kids?" question that continues to remain unanswered.

10) It looks like a hurricane attacked my baking pan cabinet. And I don't even care.11) I may* have only been cleaning today because we are having friends over for dinner.

So now that I'm utterly humiliated, anyone else have any clean or not-so clean confessions?

Organized Chaos

I have to admit, I'm not a very organized person. In all honesty, my home is really just organized chaos. Even when it's clean, if you were to really start opening drawers and cabinets and looking at things up close, you would find that things are just kind of messy. And I guess it's felt like I never have the time to tackle everything that needs to be done.

There is this picture I took recently after I completed my redecorating and I love how clean and tidy and organized my kitchen looks. Seriously, just looking at this picture makes me feel calm inside because it looks so neat. Sadly, I'm pretty the sure the last time my kitchen looked exactly like this was the time I took this picture. *sigh*
Thanks to Pinterest, I came across an awesome blog today that issued a 21-day organizing challenge. I made a few tweaks to the list so that it could apply to my home and for what I need to get more organized.

1) Junk Drawer
2) Computer Desk/Mail situation
3) Tupperware cabinet(s)
4) Linen closet/cabinets
5) Under the kitchen sink
6) Dresser drawers
7) The pantry
8) Coat/Guest room closet
9) Toy storage/Tommy's room
10) Laundry room
11) Freezer
12) Spice cabinet
13) Medicine cabinet
14) Under bathroom sinks
15) Dining room (buffet drawers)
16) Refrigerator
17) Kitchen pots, pans & utensil drawer
18) Keepsakes
19) Master bedroom closet
20) Photos
21) Your choice - Scrapbooking area

I've decided to embrace this challenge and tackle some of the disorganization in my house. I've also decided to give myself a bit of grace and if I can't make the deadline in exactly 21 days, it won't be the end of the world. I just want to finish it and hopefully be more organized at the end of it all!

The deeper side to all of this.....I think lately I've felt overwhelmed by some of the things in my heart that need continued unpacking or healing or examining. I've wondered if I'll be in therapy forever - not that it would be a bad thing, but just because there is so much there that still needs talking about and crying over. It gets wearing after awhile and it's been hard to not believe that maybe I'm just screwed up and hopeless. And I know those things aren't true, yet some days, it's felt hard to believe anything else.

The last couple of weeks I have just felt discouraged in how big some things just feel and I've wondered if I will ever be able to live out my life the way I really want to.

One of the things a friend suggested that I do, is to just do the things that I can. Which sounds simple, but I've found it to be easier said than done. My friend suggested though, that instead of stressing out about how much there is around me that needs to get done whether in my home or my life or my heart, to just get done what I can. To visualize things in boxes and get to one box at a time. And any box that feels too big to go through on my own, go through it with someone else. And to even put that box back on a shelf until a later time. It sounds like good advice, but I wonder if it's really do-able I guess.

I guess when I came across this organizing challenge today that I was filled with some hope. Not just that my home will look and feel better if I can tackle a little project day by day, but that maybe that there is still hope for all of the "projects" that I still feel are undone inside of myself. Maybe in all of the organizing and cleaning things up around my home, I'll be able to do a bit of this for my heart as well.

I'm starting tomorrow - junk drawer day. I wonder what "junk" I'm holding on to?