March 1, 2011

Unpacking

I have to admit that it feels a little weird to be a in a new blogging place. I don't have years worth of posts in my archives and things just feel a little bare around here. It's kind of like the feeling you have when moving into a new house and you haven't hung your pictures up and everything is still in boxes. It just doesn't feel like home quite yet.

So yeah. Feels a little weird to be here. Just sayin.

I thought I'd unpack a few things though today. I have a lot on my mind, a lot on my plate. And sometimes, blurbing it all out helps me bring some calm into the chaos.

Three meals a day and life in between. This is my new mantra thanks to the eating disorder specialist I've been seeing once a week. This is hard for me. Especially the life in between part. Learning to live life and having food only at mealtimes is something that has proved to be hard to unlearn. More thoughts on this later perhaps...

I turn 30 in eleven days. I'm feeling excited about my upcoming party. I'm feeling weird that I'll be leaving my 20's forever. And I'm a little surprised that 30 doesn't sound as old as it used to.

After reading my devotional yesterday, I've been looking at where and how I look for affirmation apart from God. And ew.

Starting to plan a fun shower for my friend Shelley who is getting married in June. It's hard not to get carried away. Lots of fun ideas. And how to implement them all on a tight budget...?

Mom has been on my mind a lot lately. Which has probably something to do with going through Grace Groups. I've found it surprising that I've been looking at some of these pieces of my story again and it's left me feeling lonely. The mom-void in my heart has been aching more these days.

I am feeling like I'm in the pregnancy waiting game again. Especially now that it seems as though I am in a race against my Rheumatoid Arthritis. I'm feeling the pressure and urgency and many thoughts and fears are rolling around in my heart about it all. It feels weird to be in this place again - hoping for a baby. And wondering what my future holds here.

Just a few of the boxes that needed to be unpacked today.

3 comments:

  1. Girl I say embrace the 30's. I love them and I am in such a better place in my life than I was in my 20's. I don't miss them at all! :) Praying for you in the pregnancy area. I know what it feels like to wait and it is not fun at all and such a tough journey.

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  2. Hi I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find you with out special instructions. You know your gramma is . Sometimes shy of a full deck. I love anything and everything you write about. I'll see you for your big 30. Have a blessed day, and I love you. Gramma.

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  3. I really like the new blog Jenn! And I love your reasons for the change. I've often thought of my life in terms of the seasons and I liked how you spoke of often wanting to hurry the uncomfortable seasons along a little quicker. They ARE needed though aren't they.. (sigh) I just bet your 30's will bring about new understandings...and more rest. Love you.

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