Title: Threenager fit-throwing
- "Mommy won't give me another Bandaid for my tiny scratch that healed three days ago so I'm going to scream to the point of making the neighbors think she sawed off my arm."
- "Mommy won't take my pants off so I can pee even though I can do it myself, so instead I'll stand here and scream "bad mama" because elastic pull up waist bands are so confusing."
- "Mommy won't give me a snack - she had the nerve to give me dinner instead. And when I'm hungry, I want a snack, I don't want food."
- "Mommy put me to bed and she's watching TV in the living room so I've decided the noise is bothering me so much that my ears hurt to the point that it feels as though someone is ripping them out with a dull spoon."
Title: Healthyish Living
- On Greek yogurt and how much it doesn't taste like breakfast tacos
- Also, how much salad doesn't taste like cheeseburgers
- Eating toppings off of pizza because it's way healthier
- Knee sweat. Ew.
- And a handy tip on not ever carrying a plum in your purse for a healthy snack later - it doesn't end well for the purse
Title: 90 Freaking Degrees
- This is the worst fall we've ever had in the history of San Antonio because it's almost 90 freaking degrees every single day
- Buying leggings, boots and long sleeves was totally in vain because it's 90 freaking degrees
- Wanting to eat yummy things like chili and tomato basil soup, but you can't because it's 90 freaking degrees
- Also, it's NINETY FREAKING DEGREES
Title: Lego Drama
- The chaos, the insanity, the madness!
- Hunting for Superman's head because all figures are for some reason, immediately dismembered
- How it's totally worth it to buy 2 of the same tiny Lego set, because if that tiny set comes with Batman and your threenager loses Batman, then you have a backup Batman and can save the day. Don't ask what happens when both Batmans are lost. I don't want to talk about it.
- Threatening to throw them all away after fight #457 of any given day, but knowing you wouldn't follow through with it because you're pretty sure that you've spent at least three solid paychecks on Lego sets
- The meltdowns when the little one breaks the big one's ship and no one knows how to put it back together again. And the only thing worse than a threenager fit, is a seven year-old fit who's brother has destroyed his Star Wars clone carrier
- Apparently, building Legos is not playing Legos and playing Legos is a whole different ballgame
Title: Hashtag Blessed
- Obligatory I'm-so-thankful post on how grateful I am for all of my blessings because even though Greek yogurt tastes like feet and we are having beach weather in October and Lego's are the bane of my existence and my three year old might burst my eardrums with his constant screaming, I really am totally, completely, overwhelmingly blessed.