No marriage is perfect. I thought that for a long time though. I idealized others and thought they had it all figured out and we were just missing something. I was even on a mission to find that missing piece. To do marriage better than my parents did or my friends do. As if its a competition or something to be mastered.
Needless to say, God and marriage and everything that unfolded in the last year between Todd and I was humbling. I'm grateful for it. I desperately needed to be broken there - we both did.
Since I wrote my "Story of Us" posts, there has been a shift with us. In many ways it feels like we're back to being the us that I loved. Being able to recognize this has brought comfort to my heart in the places where evil still whispers that we won't make it forever and ever like we vowed.
But one thing is true for this moment and this season. We are back. We are back to the us that works, that loves, that is meant to be together.
We are back to sending sweet text messages during the day like:
Him: Guess what?
Him: I think you're wonderful (followed by a kissy face)
We are back to holding hands on the couch while watching Star Wars movies.
We are back on all of the same pages together again. We're saving money and being more thoughtful with our finances. We're considerate and helpful - like how he helps with the dishes because he knows how much I hate doing them. And I do the laundry and he never has to worry about having clean socks.
We our back to our familiar, comfortable rhythm where there is give and take and just the right amounts of conflict and affection.
We are back to talking about the crap as it happens rather than letting it build up.
We are back to family dinners around the table and talking about our days and disappointments and hopes together.
We are back to dreaming about expanding our family and praying about what God might have in store for us there. The hardest and most painful place to dream, yet to even be here feels like we've already birthed some great thing.
We are back to being us.
Just in time to celebrate six years of marriage in two short weeks. It's good to be back.