This whole week I have felt the pangs of change and growth and newness. With Tommy starting school, our usual schedule and the familiarity of a comfortable routine is now a thing of the past. A new routine is replacing the old one and we are having to roll with the punches and take everything day by day to see what works for us. With Todd's unpredictable work schedule, doing dinner and baths and bedtimes all alone a few nights a week feels more exhausting than it did before. I'm having to pay closer attention to my limits and boundaries and remember that I can't do it all. Which is why I have laundry strewn about my bedroom and dirty dishes that are literally piled up in the sink.
This morning on my way to work, I watched the sun rise through the trees and brilliantly break through the clouds all lit up in turquoise and amber. And in that, I found the silver lining of my new and very early work schedule. Those sunrises - it's as if God is smiling right at me and wishing me a good morning and a reminder that He is with me and remembers me.
September is around the corner already. Sadly, it doesn't mean a lovely cool-off for autumn in my part of the world, but it does always usher in the changing of seasons in my life. There are things I am doing and preparing for that feel big and I am seeing where every year brings more of the something I didn't have in me the year before. That thing is what I'm hoping Tommy will discover in himself as he learns to get out of the car without being walked in by daddy and as he faces new things that feel hard and uncomfortable.
I continue my love/hate relationship with change. Looking forward to the places I grow and bend in the midst of it all and fighting through the hard days. Remembering that courage is feeling scared, but doing it anyway. And waiting for autumn, the promise to harvest all that I have been diligently sewing.