Potty Training

I've never been a by-the-book parent. And that's just been my choice. I didn't even like to read the What To Expect When You're Expecting book because it totally freaked me out. I've just jumped in to this mommy thing and taken it as it comes. When I've had questions, I just ask our doctor or my friends.

But the one thing I can't get enough books and information about is the one thing I've been dreading since I realized I'd have to do this someday.

POTTY TRAINING.

And it's time. It's been time and I've just been in denial.

Potty-training commences at some point this weekend. As soon as we go buy the potty chair and throw some kind of big-boy party for him, that is. I've read that a big-boy party is apparently quite effective. And this is why I don't read books - because I'm suddenly throwing a potty related party and decorating with Elmo underwear. *sigh*

I don't think I've ever dreaded anything more in my life. And Tommy is ready - he's been ready and it's me that's been putting it off because it just feels so complicated. I mean, I obviously got the hang of it at some point and so did Todd, but it feels impossible to figure out how to teach a human being how this works. Seriously, if I could hire someone out to do this for me, I probably would.

Oh, can I hire someone to do this? Are there professional potty trainers out there?

Joking aside, I'm afraid this will break me maybe. Probably because I've heard a lot of horror stories. It's the possibility of being peed on in public or having to deal with a poop situation in the middle of a grocery store that I'm afraid of. It's happened to people I know, so why would I be immune to some kind of awful accident?

Maybe it sounds dumb to say, but I'm just afraid I'm going to suck at this. Or I'm going to break down crying in front of him because I can't get him to stay sitting on the potty for more than five seconds or because he's crying because he doesn't understand what we're trying to get him to do. All of it just feels potentially traumatic I guess.

Seriously, if anyone has any kind of encouragement or tip or magical technique that I can use that will make any of this "easier," I can use all the help I can get. Send the tips and advice and encouragement and book titles my way for real.

Say a prayer for me. And friends (and you know who you are), please remain on stand-by for an emergency margarita session. I might need a night (or two or three) out to remain sane in this whole thing.

Oh and pray for this little guy too; that he can put up with his crazy mama while he tries to learn the art of peeing and pooping like civilized people do.
He's such a big boy now. I kind of can't believe it's already time for this.