The start to this year has felt quieter for me. My calendar has been a little less full of social activity than it has been in the last several months. And I'm not sure if anyone has noticed, but there have been fewer pictures posted - especially of myself.
I'm not one for making new year resolutions, and if I do, I'm definitely not one for posting them on my blog. But I did set out at the beginning of this year with a new muscle of determination to not necessarily just lose weight, but to live healthier. If last year was the year that I lived, what did I want this year to be?
I want it to be the year that I was kind to myself. The year I remained close to God and relied on Him for all that I needed. The year that I lived healthier and lost weight. And the year I finally kicked this addiction thing in the ass because dammit I want to experience some freedom here and I know I can! (And yes I am the kind of woman who says God and ass in the same paragraph!)
In the past, I've set out to lose weight and have fallen on my butt time and again. It's been an embarrassing struggle that everyone around me gets to observe as they watch my weight fluctuate up and down whether I write about it or not. And what I've figured out in the last couple of years, is that no one knows what this is like for me, but me. Understanding that has freed me up to at least try to stop worrying about what others are thinking about me and my body.
(January 1, 2012)
(January 1, 2012)Currently, I feel like I'm under construction. This process is a slow one and I have to remind myself daily that I'm not just in this to lose weight, but because I want to live healthier and quit treating my body in such damaging ways. I've joined the gym and have been exercising on an almost-daily basis. I'm eating more protein and green things, less sugar and pushing through the moments or hours that are hard and I just want to return to old habits. I'm extending myself some grace and reminding myself almost daily that this whole process is not just about numbers.
It's a fight, but for the first time, I really feel like I'm in it. I think my last year, the year that I really lived, helped me be more ready to do this. At this point, I'm not wanting to share numbers and pounds lost.
(March 1, 2012)I'm careful about what I want to share here, yet it feels like a noteworthy day too. Because today I recognize progress. It's been happening from the inside and slowly but surely, the outside is changing too.
Congrats girl! You have made some serious progress, so happy for you!
ReplyDeleteI see progress! Keep up the good work! I know it's hard, but you're doing it and have the right mindset!
ReplyDeleteHi there, found your site by accident. And wow, how it spoke to me.
ReplyDeleteHey girl you can do it. I have lost 60 pounds since last July. No surgery, or diet pills or speical starve yourself drinks. Just good ole fashioned healthy choices. Oh ya and exercise. But honestly I have weeks where I don't even exercise. I have about 20-30 more to go, and its a lot slower now but it is still coming off. I have gone down 7 pant sizes. I keep having to buy my clothes at Goodwill and garage sales because the minute I buy them I have dropped another size. Its such a great feeling! So it can be done, and I can tell the difference in only two months. Keep up the good work! If you want any advise or just need a buddy for support, holla at me. I am new to my blogger, I just started a blog. I just followed you and hoping you'll follow back. And no its not a weight loss blog, don't worry :) Its for my ebay, lol.
Love you and I see the difference! I am proud of you, not just for this - but so much more. I am glad you documented your milestone..it's good to feel progress and to relish in where you have come.
ReplyDeleteHearing the struggle, but so proud you are fighting for the beautiful woman and friend I am proud to know. And I think it's awesome that you are the kind of women who says God and ass in the same paragraph! Lol!
ReplyDeleteWhat's the best way you can be encouraged in this struggle?
ReplyDeleteYAY for making progress! Progress is awesome! :)
ReplyDeleteLooking good! I need to get myself in gear. I think I'm getting closer to being there mentally.
ReplyDeleteWow girl!!! Your doing awesome! I see lots of progress! Keep up the hard work!!! You got this! : )
ReplyDeleteLooking great! :) Well done, Jen! Keep the positivity coming, and in no time you'll be at your goal.
ReplyDeletelook where starting ot live has gotten you!! :-P im working bbackward through your blogs, and i think ive said already, youre an encouragement right now! ive been thinking a bit about risk with the Lord, how everything w him is new when we're actively walking w him cuz hes taking us to more, hes growing us, and its always new. and ive been impressed with the reality of that. really living w him. this post just brought that into clarity.
ReplyDeleteYou look incredible !!! You are doing so well!! I can see the progress!! I am looking forward to reading about your progress !!
ReplyDeleteLooking awesome Jen! I hadn't been on your blog for what seems like forever.
ReplyDeleteYou're looking great, keep it up ! :-D
superb! that is amazing progress. thanks for sharing
ReplyDeletelibby in va
Celebrate the victories!! Congrats on your progress. You are a beautiful, brave woman. I envy your transparency and your ability to share from your soul; it's quite moving. Keep going!!
ReplyDeleteLove ya!
Megs