April 18, 2012

A note for me

Dear Self,

Remember the you at the beginning of the year?  The you that you were on January 1st when you took this picture?

How you felt full of determination and guts and enthusiasm?

That's still you.  She is still in there.

You've made progress, lots of it.  You still have your work cut out for you, but you are getting there.  There is a lot to be proud of.  You still haven't sat and binged since last year.  LAST YEAR.  You know that's a big deal - give yourself some more credit.

I know this is hard.  Getting over this hurdle feels impossible.  You've never done this before.  You've never pushed past what you're feeling and kept on going.  

You need to remember that you've changed.  You are not the same woman.  Even if you look like her, you aren't her.  You can never be her again. The you that you still hate.  Maybe it's time you forgave her....

Quit worrying about what people think.  Take the compliments and what people notice for what they are and move on.  Take the lack of compliments and what people don't notice and move on.  Because this isn't about what people do or don't see in you.  Quit making this about what others are and aren't saying about your body and your progress and where you are in this.  

You know what this is about.  It's about experiencing more freedom because you are not numbing out in your addiction to food anymore.  It's about being healthy and living fully because that's how you really want to live.  

This is YOUR journey.  No one elses.  No one else but you knows what it's like to be you.  

How you picked yourself up last night and went to the gym anyway?  The old you that has felt this way wouldn't have done that before.  Recognize progress and don't be blind to where you have changed.  

Stop listening to the lies.  They keep you down and draw you away from being close to God and living out who you were created to be.

Remember who you are.  Remember what is true.

Keep going.  Yes, it's still a long road ahead.  But you're already four months in.  

Take it day by day.  Meal by meal.  Workout by workout.  Moment by moment.  And remember you can't do this alone.  You need Him. Go to Him.  Look to Him when you're down and discouraged and you're wanting to just give up because it's not happening fast enough.

You are almost a whole clothing size smaller.  Hello - that is amazing!

Just because you have quit in the past doesn't mean you will quit now.  Stop believing that you're a quitter.  That may be who you used to be, but that's not who you are now.  You're a fighter remember?

A warrior princess.  A dragon slayer.  Brave.  Courageous.  Fierce.  Remember those words.  Remember who gave them to you and why.  Remember how you've fought for your heart and how you have fought for your life. 

Take it one day at a time.  Be kind to yourself.  Enjoy the moments of victory.  Admit your weakness.  Stay present.  Seek His face.  Ask for help.  

I thought you needed this reminder today.



  1. beautiful post...I need to hear this today, because no matter what journey we're on I must remember how far I've come!

  2. oh, i loved remembering those words that are you, too!! that was a precious moment, to hear you described so real- ly.
    i love you