Settled

We're settling back in to whatever this new normal is supposed to look like where we have two boys instead of one.  Where we are living with longing and disappointment and a heaping amount of gratefulness for what we have and that we are all together - here.  In Texas, in this home.  Todd heads back to "the salt mines" tomorrow as he puts it and I'm still waiting and applying and hoping. 

Pictures have gone back on the walls and trinkets back on the shelves.  All of the personally personal things I took down to make it look neutral and inviting for prospective buyers have returned. 

Home finally feels homey again and I get that warm fuzzy feeling even when I look at the assembly of things by my desk where I am sitting here to write tonight.

I'm quite serious when I'll tell you that the family photo gallery wall took the entire day to put together.  Thirty-eight nail holes and a couple coats of spray paint later, I have finally deemed it finished and lovely.  Todd is ecstatic because it means he is done helping me.

As I've waited for jobs to come up to apply for and send my resume to, I've tried to rest in the timing of it all.  I want to enjoy the space I have to simply be at home with my boys where all I have to do is snuggle my baby (who wants to be held ALL THE TIME), create some fun time for Tommy, and make dinner for my family. 

To have Todd back in the every day with us again is heart-warming.  His boys need him just as much as I do and I love that he loves being a daddy - that I don't have to beg him to be involved or to help.  He's a good man, a good daddy, and I hope my boys are just like him.

It feels good to be settling in though.  Even though so much is still up in the air in regards to income and jobs and unknowns in the future, our hearts feel settled.  I've taken comfort and much peace knowing that today we've had what we needed.  Today we've had a meal on the table, and money for bills and gas in our cars.  Though this was yesterday's meal on the table.  Tonight we had pulled pork sandwiches after I discovered some of the meat treasures we had stashed away in our freezer.

And the bonus of any ordinary day is the joy and laughter that comes from the place we call home.  Like the dancing we did today, the silly we create, and the big smiles - especially from this sweet boy that I was finally able to capture on camera!

It's funny, because I expected to write some kind of "settling in" post after we had been in North Dakota for awhile.  Not at the end of April when we were supposed to be packing up our house and moving away.  I remember packing up our pictures, tears streaming down my face, wondering what it would it feel like to settle in to a new place and make it home.  The last thing I expected was to settle back in to the place we've been for the last four years.  Oh what a journey, what a ride all of this continues to be.

I suppose God had a different way of settling us in than we thought.  He has us settled right here in this very home, and right next to His heart.