December 26, 2013

Holiday Highlights

 Christmas Eve with my family.  Laughter, cousins, cuteness.
Sweet moments shared with my sister.  I was able to give Laura a piece of my mother's heart - it absolutely made my Christmas.  I found Laura's baby book in a box from my Gramma and inside were notes and letters and treasures from the heart of my mom just for Laura.  I love that she has this.  I love that she knows now how much she was wanted and loved by the woman who gave her life.

  Gifts given.  Gifts received. Like coffee-related gifts. 
 Cookies made and traditions shared with dear friends.
 My rockstar child.  Seriously - this kid and electric guitars.  And music.
It does something to my heart knowing that he loves music like I do.
Filling up a stocking for my big boy and putting it on Tommy's bed.  He thought it was magic how ended up there.  He may or may not have eaten every single chocolate coin before we even opened presents on Christmas morning.  Love gifting him with one of my most favorite childhood traditions.
His excitement - he basically got everything he wanted for Christmas.  Remember what it felt like to have everything you ever wanted because they were things and they could be wrapped up in a box?  I remember that.
 This face.  You definitely can't wrap up his smile and put it under a tree. 
  Watching my husband be a kid again - this is the highlight of any Christmas really. 
A living room floor covered with super heroes, dinosaurs, trucks that transform into dinosaurs - life with boys is much more fun than I had ever thought it would be.
I've decided that it's both a blessing and a curse to have a heightened sense of awareness of one's heart.  When you can observe your feelings and emotions and responses almost from the outside, it almost feels like a burden to know all that you're holding, especially on a day like Christmas when there is so much wonder and joy and so much to ache and long for too.

Every Christmas I feel it come - this cloud.  The sadness and the parts of my heart that bleed this time of year for things lost.  I danced through Christmas day though holding those things and enjoying my little family too.  Fighting to stay present and doing so, and letting out that big long sigh when the day was done and the toys were put away and the boys were tucked in their bed and I could finally just be for a moment.

It was a joy-filled Christmas.  It was full of surprises and gifts.  It was full of yummy food.  Memories, longings, laughter, tears, and toys.

Hoping your Christmas was full of lovely - even with all our hearts hold on such a day.

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