Finding the Words

This was something I wrote last June.  It feels fitting for where my heart is and where I've been this week.  I've been having a string of days where I'm just having a hard time finding the words...

It's hard to find the words,
when the God you thought you knew
takes you by surprise.


It's hard to find the words,
when you've stopped numbing out
and you're feeling the pain of it all.


It's hard to find the words,
when you're no longer using addiction
to escape the pain of complete loss.


It's hard to find the words,
when you're desperate to hold on
and maybe He's saying to just let go.


It's hard to find the words,
when God doesn't make sense.
and He rarely ever does.


It's hard to find the words,
when you want to be wanted
and the ones you want to want you, don't.


It's hard to find the words,
when your heart is overcome with grief
and missing someone who isn't here.


It's hard to find the words,
when something you've longed for forever,
finally becomes awakened.


It's hard to find the words,
when you're feeling overwhelmed
and full of emotion.


It's hard to find the words,
when you know that the truth
won't be well received.


It's hard to find the words,
when you feel so alive and free
and only a few people speak your language.


It's hard to find the words,
when you have so much to say
and you feel like you can't.