I read something in my devotional today that was interesting:
"I understand human frailty, and I know that you can bear the weight of only one day at a time." - God.
This devotional is cool. It's like God says something to me every single day and I love the snippets of things it has given me to think about. And actually, this was yesterday's reading, but that's not the point.
God understands our frailty. He decided that a 24 hour day was enough for us to handle at once. We can only bear the weight of what God has for us today - whether that weight is burdensome or glorious. There is a reason we don't know what tomorrow holds for us. We are just supposed to take on today. Not tomorrow, not next week, and not next month.
I was flipping through my calendar this afternoon and looking at the events to come in the next several months.
Grace Group tomorrow night.
Tommy's much needed haircut Friday morning.
Red Tent dinner on Friday evening.
Gramma is coming over to my house this Saturday.
Todd is out of town this weekend working on a hunting lease.
The last night of Grace Group for the semester.
My monthly morning visit with Sarah.
Getting ready for Easter - baking decorated Easter egg sugar cookies and getting Tommy's basket together.
Easter and family festivities that day.
Rheumatoid Arthritis appointment the day after Easter.
SALTS - the whole first week of May.
A more full-time work schedule beginning in May.
Shelley's lingerie shower.
Sing on worship team at church.
Another Red Tent Dinner.
Our 5 year Wedding Anniversary.
My best friend Sarah's 30th birthday.
A sales tax workshop I get to attend for an entire day. *yawn*
Driving to Houston for fun pre-wedding activities and a fun, long weekend.
And that's just up to June 18th.
I'm a "planner." I get some strange amount of adrenaline from being able to write events in my calendar of fun places to go or things to do. I think maybe it gives me a sense of purpose or importance and I'm sure I could find a fair measure of depravity in my need for seeing a full social calendar every month. Yet, I am also aware of where I say "no" to things and when I feel like life is feeling full too.
But I digress.
As much as I tend to "plan" for the days, weeks and months ahead, there is no telling what tomorrow holds. There is no telling what circumstances could change that would have a ripple effect on all of the plans I have made for the future. And I often catch my focus or my thoughts on the days to come rather than enjoying the very day I am in or accomplishing what needs to be done in this day.
He knows that I can only bear the weight of one day at a time. I'm feeling curious today about what I'm missing out on by trying to bear the weight of my tomorrows. I'm curious what He might have for me on this very day. Just a regular, ordinary Tuesday.
"There is abundant Life in My Presence today." - God. (The last line of the same devotional for the day).
Though I may be worried about my tomorrows or even if I'm even excited about them, there is abundant life to be had today.
There is life abundant in the rest of my workday, in the drive home, in the preparing of dinner, in the playing with, reading to, and bathtime with Tommy, in my work-out, in my time spent with Todd when he gets off of work, in our reading together before we go to sleep....those things aren't on my "calendar." There is much life there in a very unplanned or seemingly uneventful day.
I wonder where and how I might experience more of Him when I stop worrying about or planning for all of my tomorrows....