Back in November, the woman who kept Tommy at the home daycare we sent him to had to let him go. It was something about her homeowner's insurance going up and not being able to keep her part-time kids in her program anymore.
In all honesty, it worked out great for us. My boss was gracious enough to let me change my schedule yet again, my mother-in-law moved her days around to watch Tommy, and we no longer have to pay for childcare even though it was only once a week. Though I think Tommy is sad about not getting to go there. He tells me sometimes, "I don't have friends anymore. They all gone."
But here I am on a Tuesday morning, sitting in my house wearing pajamas and having wet hair and a small stack of work that needs to be completed at some point today.
It's foggy outside today and my mind feels a lot like that. Muddled, foggy, confused. Some things feel hard to see maybe.
I'm thinking about last night's topic at dinner about beauty.
I'm thinking about friendships. Real, true, deep, lasting friendships. And two people I am especially missing right now.
I'm thinking about the words we give to one another. How deep words go into our hearts and where they send us and how ultimately, it's our choice to decide what to do with those words.
I'm thinking about God and why His "help" doesn't always feel helpful. I feel desperate for Him to rescue me in this certain place or to just give me whatever it is I need to do what I need to do.....He especially feels foggy to me today.
I have work to do. But I have some space to breathe and wear pajamas and run a load of clothes and play with my boy and spend some time talking to God about the things my heart is containing. I'm home. And I'm thankful that it's Tuesday morning.