I've Been

I've been feeling quiet.

I've been thinking about how much I'm missing winter and how odd that is considering it's my least favorite season. But it's a season, and I think I enjoy the predictability of change and how not having a winter wasn't what I expected.

I've been considering that perhaps most relationships are restorable and redeemable. And how I've never operated out of that belief until now.

I've been enjoying mornings more than I used to. And feeling disappointed if I've slept too long and missed some of it's early morning light and quiet.

I've been seeing myself move forward. And maybe because I spent so much time looking back, I'm finally able to go in the direction that I've always wanted to.

I've been watching my son use his imagination and helping him cultivate it. Like how he made a whole drum set out of two hampers, an ice chest, a box and plastic bowls. It was epic and awesome.

I've been amazed at how love grows and deepens, even when you can't see it. Somehow you just know that it's more than it used to be.

I've been looking at where I feel angry and bitter. At where I stay silent and where I want to speak hurtful words.

I've been more hopeful and curious. And kinder to myself with a lot more consistency.

I've been writing more than I used to. And reading too.

I've been wanting for more of God. Taking more time to read and pray and journal and I'm feeling the impact of what spending time with Him on a more regular basis does for my heart and my day.

I've been more at rest.

Where have you been?