Sometimes it feels like it wasn't long ago when Todd and I were aching to start our family. The memories of getting pregnant and putting a nursery together and buying baby clothes feel easy to remember. It feels a bit surreal to think that our long-awaited blessing is turning three next month. THREE.
Over the weekend I did some cleaning and organizing. Those are the never ending projects that seem to always be there. I haven't quite yet put the finishing touches on Tommy's big boy room, but it is anything but a nursery now. I have though, removed all of the "baby" things.
It feels a bit odd to take memories and literally box them up. It feels like the ending of something. But this weekend, I felt where I was sad and where I was happy too, and boxed up my own little nest of Tommy's baby treasures. Keepsakes.
Tommy's baby book. His sweet little Santa suit that I had his pictures taken in for Christmas the year he was born.
The onesie my sister created for him. His month-by month pictures. A few special gifts made for his nursery. Even the piece of paper full of stickers labeled "pee-pee" from our potty-training adventures. I thought about how when he's ready to part with "Taggie, Bear and Blanket" (his sleep-time essentials), they too will be put in this same bin.
As I lovingly boxed everything up, images of his sleepy newborn face at 3:00am came to mind. Even thumbing through his baby-book brought back the memory of his sweet baby smell right after his bath when I would rock him before putting him to bed. When he would stare at me with wonder as I sang to him. Oh those were some of the most precious times of my life.
It felt a little weird; tucking away these little nuggets of my life that have come to an end - being the mom to Tommy the baby and toddler. He's a big boy now. I'm a mom to a big boy.
I guess it's just one of those things I felt deeply. It was more than just organizing and cleaning things up. It was seeing where something that used to be a longing and a dream, to now be life lived and a piece of my story and his that is now behind me. And it's in a box. It's glorious and yet I want to grieve it too.
Perhaps, maybe someday, there will be a Baby keepsakes DASH second baby. I simply don't know. But clearly, my mother's heart is hopeful that there will be.