It's taken thirty-ish years, but I know myself well enough now to know that when I've had a week much like I did last week, it's crucial to make some time for me. To do things that will bring me some calm and rest. To say no to anything that feels overwhelming. And to give myself some space so I can find my heart that somehow got buried under circumstance and negativity.
Both Friday afternoon and Saturday morning, I cleaned my house. Oh did I clean. I did laundry and dusted and vacuumed and swept and cleaned my kitchen. It was glorious. And since I enjoyed it so much is it safe to say that I've begun nesting already?
There was decaf coffee (and I don't care what anyone says, I can totally taste the difference) and some time to read.
(Check out the guy's facial expression in the background - ha!)
We shared a slice last night as we celebrated the return of Todd's mom who has been in North Dakota for the last three weeks taking care of her dad who had surgery to remove cancer that was found in his bile ducts. I think Tommy missed her more than anyone.
Sometimes this feels backwards from everything I've ever heard. Like how the cure for a lousy attitude or places where you feel discouraged is where you go to God first and then look to the other things in life to enjoy and do that bring you some happiness and joy and relaxation.
Maybe I'm wired differently. Perhaps I'm "spiritually immature" or there's something I don't get about God or I'm simply self-centered. Those could be true. But I take comfort in knowing that He knows my heart above all else. He knows that sometimes it takes me longer to come to Him. He knows I have to be angry for awhile before I can soften. He's the one who created me to love pie-making and wreath-creating and folding laundry. And whether I acknowledge Him or not, He is there and He was there with me in it all.
Hoping your weekend was full of comfort, lovely things, and honest conversations.