Two Days

He walked in the door at almost 1:00am Tuesday morning.  I wrapped my arms around him and felt his embrace and didn't want to let go again.  For two days - he was and is all mine.  It's amazing how I am able to sleep better because he is near me again.

Even though it's a short 48 hours, I needed this time.  I needed him.  I needed his face and his warmth and his nearness.

And so did Tommy.  He is thoroughly enjoying having his daddy back.  Though I'm dreading tomorrow and how he will be gone again when he wakes up in the morning.  I'll be left to care for my hurting, confused three year old that can't fully grasp what is going on, what we're doing and why we are not all together as the family he has always known.  Why dad has to be in North Dakota and not here.  And how I don't have the answers as to when we will be all together again - permanently - either.

We had some alone time together last night.  We sat at Chili's and started dreaming over our Dr Peppers - about where we might live and what we needed to do to get the house sold.  What life might be like in this place I've never been to.  The possibilities and and things we can do - like how he will be able to take the boys hunting for snow geese and pheasants and white-tail deer.  How we can build snowmen and make snow angels in the winter and enjoy windows-open weather far more often there than we ever could here.  Though my heart has begun aching for all that I will be leaving behind, to dream with my husband, to really dream about things that are really happening for us - it felt really, really good.

Tomorrow morning, long before the sun rises, he will be gone again.  Driving back up to this place without us to continue training and work and making plans and preparations for his family.  Leaving us, leaving me behind on Valentine's Day.  It's hard and I feel sad.  Dreading the lonely that will once again fill the house with his absence.

But the rest of the day.....the rest of the day, he is here.  He is ours.  He is with us.  And I'm grateful to have this little bit of time.