*This post is long. If you read the whole thing I'll give you a cookie. But you'll have to come over to my crazy-tore-up-being-redecorated house to get one!*
I was about twelve years old when my mom bought me a pair of sunflower shorts. They were off white and covered in sunflowers and I was pretty sure they were the best shorts EVER. Of course now, I wouldn't be caught dead in such a thing, but when I was twelve, and you know back in the '90's, they were totally awesome.
Perhaps I remember those shorts because I remember my mom telling me that my sunflower thing was just a phase and I would be over them and on to something else in no time. I insisted that it wasn't a phase. I even told her that my wedding would most definitely have a sunflower theme and when I grew up my whole house would be covered in them! It was kind of like, "I'll show you, mom!"
And yes. My wedding was sunflower themed. And yes. I grew up and decorated my house around my most favorite flower in the universe. Here's proof of that here.
Growing up I had sunflower everything. Sunflower earrings. Sunflower picture frames. Sunflower bedspreads. Sunflower perfume. I was a bit obsessed.
Sunflowers have long spoken to me though. They are bright and bold and kind of loud and so cheerful. They are still my most favorite flower to receive and they echo my heart and personality so well. I hope that they always will.
I've surveyed my home and all of my sunflowery things around me, it has started to feel a little less like the me that I am today. Like they are a part of me for sure, but yet they don't speak to the woman I am now. Now I'm 30. Life has changed and changed me along with it. And how I have used sunflowers in my decorating feels like the younger version of me. Maybe this only makes sense to me and I'm going a little deep into this whole floral admiration thing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this; I've changed. And I want my home to reflect those changes somehow. And as a result, I'm wanting to scale back the sunflower motif.
As I've been thumbing through magazines and various "pins" on Pinterest, I've learned that not only do I love sunflowers, but I love hydrangeas. Like, I absolutely love them! And as I've thought about making plans for redecorating the house, my whole inspiration is centered around the colors and natural beauty of white and green hydrangeas.
I think one of the things I love most about decorating my home so much is that it's a reflection of my heart and who I am as a woman and my desire to create beauty in my surroundings. It's more than a need to "nest." It's like something in my soul that feels like it was designed to make things around me lovely and feel welcoming and inviting. And wanting to change things up feels like a ripple affect of some of the changes that have happened in my heart over the last few months.
The highest compliment for me is when someone comes to my home and tells me that it feels so warm and cozy and they just want to curl up on my couch and stay for awhile. That's exactly how I want my home to always feel. And as I make plans to redecorate, I want it to "feel" the same as it does now.
Though I am somewhat obsessed with Pinterest these days, it's more than that. It's felt like time to breathe some new life into my home. I've been kind of "over" some of the decor in my house for a while and didn't really know how to change things without spending money we don't have. And let us not forget that I have to incorporate antlers and mounted birds into my decor, which is incredibly challenging by the way.
Over the weekend, I got started on the deconstruction of things. I took down all of the sunflower stuff in the kitchen. And I'm not sure what I'm going to do with all of the chinky stuff that I don't plan on repurposing or making over.
Currently, my house kind of looks like this:
There is crap everywhere. I've taken everything decorative from our bedroom and living room and kitchen and dining and collected it all to see how I could rearrange things and just work with what I have. It's helped to just gather everything and form a plan from there.
I'll be honest. I don't do well when things are in transition. I suppose that could be true of my heart as well. I've always wanted to hurry things along so it would just be done, when some things just take time. Sometimes more time than you want it to. I have no idea how long it will take for things to look like I'm hoping it will at home, but I am hoping to be able to live and breathe well amidst the chaos as things feel unsettled and undone around me. At the moment I am incredibly disrupted and wondering if I'll regret this whole redecorating extravaganza.
I've picked a new color palate. Greens, creams and a pop of yellow in the living room. And the same for the kitchen/dining but with splashes of maroons too. There will be no more red, white and blue or Texas anything. *gasp* And the few sunflowery things I'm hanging on to will go in the living room instead of our kitchen and dining areas. And the hydrangeas....it's time to bring some into my home too!
I've given myself a very small budget. I mean, I'm not going out and buying new furniture or anything. I'm trying to work with what I have and throw in a few small new things here and there - hydrangeas being those "new" things. I have a few DIY projects I'm working on too.
For now I am a spray painting monster. And since I've never done anything like this before, I am learning the how-to's and how-to-not's. Like how not to spray paint candlesticks outside at night because you can't really see what you're doing.
They'll be okay though. One more coat and they'll look like I'm hoping they will. And for the record, the green I'm painting these candlesticks looks nothing like this picture.
I think as I spray paint and move things around and live in the transition phase of all of my redecorating projects, I will also be thinking of my heart and my story and where I have been impacted by change and transition. And where I am currently in life in regards to change and sitting in the midst of unsettledness too.
The era of my sunflower obsessions may have come to an end. Especially the I-have-to-buy-every-knick-knack-I've-ever-found-with-a-sunflower-on-it phase. But it's okay. I think it's time. My "phase" has had a good and long run, and I kind of like imagining my mom smiling me with that "I told you so" kind of smile.
Decorating always makes me miss her....