Day 15: A day in the life

Today's prompt:  A day in the life.  Share your typical day.

I had such high hopes for this blog challenge.  The blog everyday in May thing - it was a great idea.  It is a great idea.  It did however, fall during a busy season for me and I'm wishing I had more time to devote to each post.

And I thought about quitting, but that would feel like I failed at something and I want to try - even if what I have to put out there isn't as writery as I would like it to be. 

A day in the life for me means having to put my longings and passions to the side because of obligation and duty and responsibility.  Somehow, that feels like both a consequence and a blessing.

It's almost midnight and here I am at my computer, just now finding the time to write and reflect and breathe.  It's quiet and I wish I could stretch out these moments and make them last longer as time to myself is few and far between.  I've always been the kind of person to need a lot of personal time to read or pray or relax or create.  When I can stop and recognize where I've been in a perpetually bad mood, it's usually because I've squeezed out all I have in me and I desperately need some time to soak something in. 

A day in the life for me means that I put out every ounce of energy I have.  Every moment, every second, is full of life - living, working, nourishing, doing, driving, playing, caring - it's not sitting idle.  A day in the life means that if I have a few moments to watch an episode of House Hunters on HGTV, it's been a very good day.

My plate sounds full and perhaps it is.  Some days it feels fuller than others though, and most days I really don't mind.  I thrive on a good routine where things are consistent and predictable.  Even if life is full, if I can stay somewhat organized, it doesn't feel so overwhelming.

A day in the life for me means having to make lists and to plan things - doing that makes things feel less chaotic and if life around me doesn't feel like chaos, then I tend not to create it.  It means trying to find a balance for my desire to control everything and my need to be kind to myself and others - it's tricky though and I'm still figuring out what that looks like and how to extend myself and others around me grace

I'm still readjusting to this new normal - working again, having two kids, the second side job (that only requires one evening a week), youth group, church, worship team, and some attempt at a social life and hanging out with friends - and knowing my limitations. Knowing I need rest and rejuvenation and space to let my heart feel and air out.

A day in the life for me means not trying to figure out how to do it all, but just going with the flow. Tackling one day at a time. Paying attention to my needs and asking for help, turning to God when I'm feeling frustrated or overwhelmed.

A day in my life is full.  Full of work.  Full of sweet boys.  Full of laughter and love, some chaos, and hopefully some rest too.  Life is full and really, I wouldn't want it any other way.